


Christmas Roses

by just_another_classic



Series: Roses in December [2]
Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Christmas, F/M, First Christmas, Fluff, Fluff and Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-21
Updated: 2016-12-21
Packaged: 2018-09-10 18:21:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,779
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8928121
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/just_another_classic/pseuds/just_another_classic
Summary: After breaking the memory spell, Emma dreams of what life might be like once reunited with her family. Now with Zelena defeated and Christmas fast approaching, will her dreams come true? (Holiday sequel to 'Roses in December')





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Katie_Dub](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Katie_Dub/gifts).



> Katie_Dub requested a holiday sequel to Roses in December, and here it is! I highly recommend reading the original story, as you may otherwise be confused.

Emma’s first Christmas with Henry is spent in New York City, living in an apartment that will soon feel too small. She doesn’t know it is her first Christmas with her son, Regina’s curse filling her head with memories of many years spent caroling, decorating trees, and sitting out cookies meant for Santa, replacing her real memories full of loneliness.

Despite not knowing any of this, she tries to make the holiday special all the same. It will, after all, be the last Christmas they’ll spend just the two of them. The next Christmas, they’ll be three – Emma, Henry, and the little nugget growing inside of her.

Emma has been tempted to tell Henry was going to be getting a little brother or sister for Christmas. But she remembers that kids sometimes feel resentment over these things, and she wants to give him one last Christmas where he is the center of attention. He won’t get another one like that again.

It doesn’t stop her, though, from buying a small ornament in the shape of an anchor, a small present for her baby-to-be. Just because it isn’t born, doesn’t mean she shouldn’t celebrate it in some way. She places it on the tree, and wonders how very different next Christmas will be.

-/-

Emma’s memories return on the Fourth of July, seconds after a nurse places her newborn daughter into her arms. It is True Love’s Kiss that breaks the spell, everything returning all at once. Storybrooke. The Enchanted Forest. Her parents. Hook.

That night as the nation celebrates their independence, she lays and bed and wishes for nothing more than to return her family to a land of kings and queens, and knights and princesses.

-/-

On Labor Day weekend, Emma and her kids visit Central Park in an attempt to capture the last vestiges of summer. Wendy sleeps most of the trip, which is nice because it allows Emma to devote more of her attention to Henry. Though he’s handled the birth of his sister incredibly well, Emma wants to do everything possible to ensure he feels loved and like nothing is missing.

Emma spends more time than she’d care to admit thinking about family they are missing. She’s thankful that Henry no longer remembers them, because even on the busiest of days, when Wendy is at her fussiest and Henry needs the most help with his homework, Emma can’t ignore the near constant ache in her heart. She doesn’t want that for her son. For so much of her life, she had imagined what it’d be like to have a family. Now she knows, and the loss makes it all more painful.

Most days, Emma tries to convince herself that it’s for the best that things ended up this way; that fate, though cruel and twisted, is somehow protecting her children. But there are nights when Emma envisions just what life could have been had Pan’s curse never been cast.

She has this image in her head – her, surrounded by family and friends, happy, content, and loved. It’s a pretty thought.

-/-

Henry decides to dress as a pirate for Halloween, and suggests the entire family get into the act.

“Wendy can be a parrot, Mom!”

She thinks what Hook would say about the costume. Probably something silly about how a real pirate doesn’t rely on birds for companionship. So instead, she scours the Internet for baby pirate costumes, and smiles in glee when she finds something to her liking.

“Your dad would get a kick out this,” she whispers to Wendy, who seems more interested in sucking on her own fist than anything to do with Halloween. “He’d dump Smee and make you his first mate in a heartbeat.”

She snaps a few pictures on her phone before Henry calls out for her, eager to begin his trick-or-treating. Emma rights her own pirate costume, and lifts her young daughter into her arms. She does her best to ignore the ache in her chest in the shape of the one person who could complete their pirate crew.

And somehow, three days later, he shows up at their door anyway.

-/-

They forget Thanksgiving.

Between the mess with Zelena, Neal’s death, her little brother’s birth, and the discovery of Wendy’s magic, everyone had been too distracted and emotionally drained to even look at a calendar.

It’s her mother who notices. Too exhausted from her own newborn, instead of cooking, she orders a pumpkin pie from Granny’s and makes everyone say what they’re thankful for before they can take a bite.

It’s difficult for Emma to decide on what she most thankful for this year. Between Wendy’s birth, the return of her memories, and reuniting with her family, it’s hard to settle on just one thing. So, once it’s her turn, she hopes what she says is enough and conveys the depth of her happiness.

“Finally being home.”

-/-

And finally: Christmas.

-/-

Explaining Christmas to Killian is more difficult than Emma could ever imagine. He keeps getting caught up on the Santa myth, and why everyone seems to want to perpetuate it – namely because it takes away from him being dear old doting dad.

“I don’t understand why you want this to preclude me from buying her gifts for the rest of the month,” Killian says with a pout. “If this Santa Claus fellow is just a story you tell the children in this realm, someone must buy the gifts.”

“You can buy her gifts, you just can’t give them to her yet.”

Since learning about Wendy, he’s been especially bad about gifting her with new toys or pieces of clothing. It’s sweet, really, and Emma knows why he does it, but it doesn’t change the fact that she wants to make Wendy’s first Christmas extra special. And, sure, Wendy is only five months old, which means she won’t remember anything, but Emma will still remember and be able to take pictures of it all.

Besides, it’s their first Christmas all together as a holiday. It is extra special, more special than any other Christmas they’ll likely have, and Emma wants to treat it as such.

“But—”

“Suck it up, Captain, it’s Christmas.”

“If we’re on the topic of sucking, darling—”

She hits him on the arm before he can finish his sentence.  
-/-

“What is she wearing?”

“It’s a reindeer onesie. ‘Tis the season, Hook.”

“But why?”

Emma doesn’t know what is more hilarious: the strange uptick in Killian’s voice, or his incredulous expression as he takes in Wendy’s Christmas outfit.

She really can’t wait to introduce him to Halloween.

 

-/-

The man who owns the toy shop sets up a “North Pole Village”, complete with hiring one of the dwarves to dress as Santa’s elf. Though Emma knows the man’s intentions aren’t entirely altruistic – he is most certainly trying to entice more parents into his shop – she jumps at the chance to do the cheesy Christmas thing and have Wendy’s picture taken with “Santa”.

“But he’s not actually Santa,” Killian tells her as they wait in the overly long line, still clearly dubious with the entire holiday tradition. “Why do you want a photograph with an imposter?”

“Santa’s not real, you know,” she whispers to Killian, cognizant of the many children around her. “It’s just a thing people do here. Kids love it. Parents love it. It’s fun.”

What isn’t fun is the fit Wendy throws when they try to pass her off to “Santa”. She squirms and cries, and when the lights begin to flicker – a side effect of her burgeoning magic – they know it’s a lost cause. Emma gives in and allows Killian to purchase her a small stuffed bear to placate her. It works. Wendy’s tears quickly subside once she’s secured in her father’s arms and gumming on her new toy.

Killian throws Emma a sympathetic smile. “No worries, love; maybe next year, she’ll respond positively to your Santa Claus.”

Emma can but hope.

-/-

They go as a family to a Christmas tree farm on the edge of town. Emma spends quite a while inspecting each tree as Killian stands off to the side, Wendy strapped to his chest and Henry standing to his side.

“She’s pretty obsessive about finding the perfect tree. You should have seen her last Christmas,” Emma overhears her son explain to her boyfriend as she studies a particularly beautiful Douglas Fir. She sighs when she realizes it would be much too large to fit into her apartment. She loves her place, she really does, but it isn’t the most conducive to holiday decoration.

“I’m not obsessive, I just have Christmas spirit,” she argues, glaring as both Henry and Killian do their best to stifle laughs.

As they continue to search, she overhears Henry describe to Killian the Christmas tree at Regina’s mansion. It’s immaculately decorated, and it already has dozens of presents under the tree – and it’s larger than whatever she will end up finding. Emma has to remind herself not to be jealous. She’s happy her son has his other mother, but it’s harder around the holidays, especially now that she knows she hadn’t been there for Henry every year.

But she wills herself not to think about those things, because it is Christmas – damn it – and she will be full of cheer. So, instead of wallowing, she turns to her son and plasters on the widest of grins.

“You know, if you think I’m being too picky, let’s see what you can find.”

Henry shoots her a grin right back. “You’re on.”

-/-

Later, long after the tree is decorated and both Henry and Wendy are in bed, Emma admires the sparkling lights and the ornaments on the tree. Killian comes up behind her and wraps his arm around her waist. “I can see why you’re so obsessive about having a tree in your home. It’s lovely.”

“Told ya so,” she replies as he places a kiss on her temple. Tonight, she wills herself into contentment, and as the lights twinkle on the tree, she feels like she is doing a pretty great job. A glint of silver catches her eye, and Emma smiles when she sees the anchor ornament she purchased a year earlier.

“You see that ornament?” Emma asks, reaching out to touch it. “That’s Wendy’s first Christmas ornament. I bought it not too long after I found out about her.”

“It’s an anchor,” Killian says, and Emma can hear a smile in his voice.

“It’s not Christmas-y at all, really, but I saw it and I think subconsciously it made me think of you.” She turns in his arms to face him directly, pleased at the upturn of his lips and the love reflected in his eyes. “I’m glad you’re here, Killian.”

“I’m happy to be here, love.”

As their lips meet in a kiss, Emma thinks it can’t get better than this.

-/-

It can’t get better, but it can get worse.

Emma knows she should have seen it coming, but Regina demands to have Henry for Christmas morning. Emma can’t exactly blame her for the request – Regina had been separated from Henry for an entire year – but it’s still upsetting all the same.

It might have been premature, but she had been imagining Christmas morning with both Henry and Wendy. It had been the perfect Christmas in her head, and well—

Not everything can be perfect.

-/-

What is supposed to be a relaxing night in her apartment ends with a fight with Killian. Bitter and annoyed by Henry’s Christmas morning plans, she had been angling for a way to blow off steam, a little too hurt and a lot too pissed off at the world. Killian, unfortunately, had received the force of it all, resulting in them arguing about everything from Henry, to Wendy, to Christmas, and Killian’s flippant attitude toward the holiday.

What had meant to be a night for just the three of them – her, Killian, and Wendy – ends with Killian leaving the apartment, and Emma alone fuming and frustrated.

Emma knows she had been in the wrong by picking a fight. Killian hadn’t actually done anything worth fighting over, but she’d torn into him all the same. What she had wanted to do was vent about not spending Christmas morning with Henry, but Killian had tried to placate her by saying that she’d see him in the evening.

She wishes that Killian could automatically understand why Christmas is so important to her, what it means outside of basic facts like Santa Claus and the lyrics to “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer”. As endearing as his unfamiliarity with her world can be, it can also be frustrating. 

But Emma knows it’s not entirely his fault. He hadn’t been brought over with any curses. He didn’t know holiday conventions. 

She sighs. She knows what she has to do.

 

-/-

It’s late by the time she gets to the inn. Emma knows he very could be asleep, and she feels slightly guilty at the possibility of waking him, but she knocks insistently anyway, hoping that he won’t mind.

It doesn’t take long for him to answer the door, but he only cracks it part of the way, and he doesn’t smile when he sees her. Instead, he eyes her warily and asks, “Where’s Wendy?”

“With my parents. I thought it might be best to talk you and me, sans baby.” Killian nods in agreement with her answer, but he still does nothing to further open the door. “Can I come in?”

A pregnant pause hangs in the air, and Emma does her best to stifle the hurt she feels at Killian’s apprehension. He sighs, and his eyes cast down to the floor. “I wasn’t expecting you tonight.”

“I know.”

She can feel her eyes begin to burn, which she hates. She doesn’t want to cry over them, their fight, and how her holiday seems to be spiraling out of control. What Emma wants is for him to open the door and take her into his arms.

“Can you just, can you please let me in?”

“Aye.” His expression softens, and for a strange reason, his cheeks begin to flush. “This was meant to be a surprise, but…”

Killian’s voice trails off as he pulls open the door. Emma’s confusion ebbs away as she gets a closer look into his room. Colored lights are strung around the furniture, and a half-decorated tree sits in the corner. “It looks like the North Pole threw up in here.”

Killian chuckles as he ushers her into the room, closing the door behind him. “That was the intention, though I would not have necessarily worded it that way.”

“Why does it look like the North Pole threw up in here?” Emma turns to face him. He had never struck her as the decorating type, despite his flamboyant nature. “Christmas isn’t your thing.”

“Isn’t it obvious, Swan?” he asks her, drawing closer so that he can place both his hand and hook on her waist. “I know my unfamiliarity with your land’s festivities has drawn your ire, but I wanted a way to show you that I do care, even if I don’t necessarily understand.”

She doesn’t know how to respond to that, because she had been the one who had come here to apologize – not him. So, Emma does what she does best, and allows her actions to speak for her. She kisses him.

-/-

It’s only later as their skin cools and the sheets are tangled around their waists that Emma begins to open to him. They’ve always been good with the physical side of their relationship, jumping to the physical in an attempt to circumvent the emotions behind their actions – it’s how they got Wendy, after all – but Emma knows she needs to talk and help him understand.

“The period between getting my memories back and you showing up at my door was somehow both the most exciting and devastating time in my life,” she explains to him. Emma doesn’t look up at his eyes as she speaks. She’s not sure if she can. Instead she draws patterns on his chest as she attempts to unload her feelings. “I was so incredibly happy to have Wendy, but it was killing me each day to know that you and my family were somewhere I couldn’t reach. I would sometimes wish True Love’s Kiss didn’t break the spell. Is that bad?”

“No,” Killian replies, his fingers stroking her hair. The certainty in his voice comforts her. “I remember what it was like to be separated from you. It was driving me mad, being away from you.”

“I would concoct these fantasies, you know, about what it would be like if we were all reunited, build up scenarios in my mind of one big happy family. And when Christmas came around, I thought I could have that. I know I was being stupid—”

“You weren’t being stupid.”

“—But I just built it up all in my mind, you know? And after all the shit with Zelena, I wanted a break. I wanted—”

“—The perfect holiday,” Killian completes for her. Emma nods mutely against his chest. “There’s nothing wrong with wanting that, love. You deserve everything and more.”

Emma doesn’t respond, and instead buries herself deeper into Killian’s side. She listens to the beat of his heart, steady and strong, and it allows it to comfort her in the dark.

“I think,” she says finally, “I think I allowed myself to forget what a mess Storybrooke can be. I did the whole rose-colored glasses thing. I forgot how terrible the villains are and that it kind of sucks having to share Henry. And don’t get me wrong, I am so incredibly happy to be back, but I forgot how much of it wasn’t ideal.”

It’s Killian’s turn to be quiet now. Emma can feel him tense beneath her, his fingers catching in her hair. She moves to finally look up at him, her chin resting on his chest. “What?”

He licks his lips, and his brows furrow. Carefully, he asks, his voice barely above a whisper, “Does it bother you to share Wendy with me?”

“No.” The words come out quickly, automatically. “It’s different with you.”

“Is it?”

She’s not sure how to articulate the many reasons why, but sharing with Wendy with Killian is so different than joint custody with Regina. She and Killian don’t have the same history as she and Regina do. And while Wendy does stay with Killian some nights, just as Henry does with Regina, the overall feeling is different. Her situation with Killian feels almost temporary – like one day they’ll stop bouncing Wendy between them because there’ll be no reason to, because he’ll already be there.

It’s hits her then that whether she’s planned it or not, she’s already beginning to envision a future with Killian, one that involves him not just living in his room at Granny’s but them in their home. It’s normally a thought that would drive ice into her soul, and terrify her, especially considering how her past dreams have played out.

But Emma resolves, this time, to not let her fears play out. She moves up to place a kiss firmly to his lips. “Don’t ever doubt your place in mine and Wendy’s life, okay?”

She hopes he believes her.

-/-

Emma picks Wendy at her parents the next morning. Killian stays behind, claiming he has more Christmas shopping to do, and that Emma should spend time with her parents. “You know how your father loves to glut you with his pancakes, love.”

Just as Killian predicted, the moment she arrives at the loft, David is encouraging her to say for breakfast. Sitting down for breakfast, however, is a loud affair. Wendy is particularly vocal, excited to see her mother after a night away. She happily spends much of the morning refusing to leave Emma’s arms, not that Emma minds at all.

“What are you guys doing to celebrate Christmas morning?”

Emma knows Snow is attempting to make pleasant conversation, but after the day before, she’d rather not focus on the holiday, but rather the people beside her. “Nothing big, really. Henry’s spending the morning with Regina, so we’ll probably wait to do anything big once he’s at my place.”

Snow frowns at Emma’s explanation of her holiday plans. Emma forces a smile to make her mother think it’s fine. It seemingly doesn’t work, because after an aggressive cut into her pancake, Snow announces, “Well, that just means you will spend Christmas morning here! Killian is invited, too, of course.”

“You guys would be okay with that?” Emma asks, a smile turning to an unwilling frown as Wendy tugs on her hair. “I don’t want to infringe on Neal’s first Christmas.”

“And I don’t want to miss Wendy’s first Christmas,” Snow insists. “Emma, it’s our first Christmas all together. Don’t you think we should celebrate it as a family?”

Emma looks down at Wendy in her arms. “Yeah, I think we should.”

-/-

Eventually, everything falls into place. Henry will spend Christmas Eve and morning with Regina, then they, along with Robin and Roland, will join everyone at the loft for Christmas dinner.

And, finally, Emma believes her dreams just might be coming true.

-/-

She, Killian, and Wendy spend Christmas Eve at the apartment. Despite Henry being gone, it’s still a wonderful night.

They read The Night Before Christmas to Wendy, and rock her to sleep humming Christmas songs as her lullaby.

Once Wendy is asleep, Emma and Killian curl onto the couch, drinking hot chocolates. It is then when she introduces him to another Christmas tradition: mistletoe. 

-/-

Christmas morning is a flurry of photographs, wrapping paper, and bows. David makes his signature pancakes, and Snow seems glued to her camera trying to capture every moment. Wendy spends most of the morning more interested in the wrapping paper than the presents, and Neal spends most of it asleep in his bassinet.

“Merry Christmas, love,” Killian whispers, pressing a kiss to her temple as they watch their daughter have the time of her life tossing around ribbons and bows.

“Merry Christmas, Killian.”

-/-

Christmas dinner is a flurry of activity.

Henry shows off pictures of his new Playstation, and Roland excitedly recounts how his father took them out on a “reindeer hunt” – “Pretend reindeer hunt,” Regina later insists. Wendy spends much of the night cradled in Killian’s arms, falling asleep with her head buried against his.

Emma thinks back to Christmas one year ago, when it was just her and Henry, and a future unknown. It might not be how she envisioned her year to go, but Emma knows one thing: it’s better.


End file.
